The Gram Panchayats are prevalent from decades in our country. Although the “Mukhiya” of these panchayats are not much learned people but they are far much better off than the so-called “Learned and well educated Judges” of all the courts. The panchayats are capable of disposing of any matters coming to them immediately after patiently hearing both the parties, but the honorable judges although having a study of the laws are incapable or rather reluctant to deliver judgments or grant justice to the litigants even after years. Is it that these learned judges are ignorant of the laws that have to be followed or is it that they do not sense the “accountability and responsibility” that is on their shoulders?

Why does the judiciary forget that the lives of innumerable citizens are wasted for years because of their inability to give justice to them? Is precious human life to be wasted as the litigants are mere pawns at the hands of these judges who cannot be questioned for their behavior?

The judges of the courts are many times incompetent to either deliver justice or dismiss the case if false. The judges on the reality shows of the TV channel are more honest, sympathetic and more understanding than the judges sitting in courts. The reality show judges know the value of human lives better than the judges in the courts as they give their judgments of the performances given by the contestants just within a few minutes. But the judges sitting in the courts are only good at giving adjournments and dates thus showing their inefficiency in judging even petty cases after years of trials. The judges take the escape route of taking a leave if they are unable to solve a case.

The lawyers play with human lives by misguiding the ignorant citizens so as to extort huge amount of money from the clients. These lawyers go to any length of misconduct and falsehood so that their business may continue. They do not believe in any ethics or moral responsibilities, their only aim is to extract as much money as they can from the clients. Thus they loot the clients of their hard-earned money.

All these facts lead to a question as to “How are these laws passed?” Although the laws are suggested and propagated by the Bureaucrats, the Law-makers, the political and the Feminists groups, these laws are passed off by the ministers of cabinet without being thoroughly reviewed. There may be many loopholes in these laws but who cares, as once a law is passed there is no one to question about the loopholes in these laws nor the proper implementation of these laws is ever questioned.

The most interesting fact about these laws is that the common man, for whom these laws are made, is completely left out of the whole law – making process. Most of the laws specially the “women- centric laws, the women protection laws, the gender biased and one-sided laws like Section 498A of the IPC, the Domestic Violence Act, the Maintenance laws, and the Child-Custody Laws are some of the laws propagated by the NCW, the WCD, the Pseudo Feminists and the Male-Haters the Bureaucrats and the Law-Makers with no consultation or no feedback from any citizens or a single men’s rights organization or any NGOs of husbands or men. Hence these laws with so many loopholes are randomly “Misused” or it may be rather said that “wrong laws are being rightly used by the law-breakers for their personal scores and selfish motives or to extort money.

Thus it may be rightly said that Human lives have become mere puppets at the hands of the unethical and manipulative laws.

The NCW and WCD Ministry has from years promoted and sensitized the false information of wives or daughter-in-law being harassed and tortured either by men or in-laws in order to extract huge funds from the UNICEF, USAID, UN and other funding agencies. The accountability and credibility of this information is never questioned whether the funds are really used for the purpose that should be served. The money is spent in false propaganda of woman being harassed for dowry or violence through the print and electronic media which has a great false impact on the mindsets of people in general.

Every other day some new women-centric, wife-oriented, one-sided and biased laws are proposed by the Feminists and NCW Ministry and propagated by the Male Feminists and Pseudo Bureaucrats. Thus the silent sufferers are the Men, the innocent husbands and their families. These Wife-centric laws are discriminatory in the same gender as well, as they do not serve the purpose of protection to the mothers and sister of husbands. The young wives and DILs are considered as women only by these Male-haters. They even go to the extent of spreading hatred not only for husbands but even his mothers and sisters are included in their hatred and denied any justice.

There are 15 laws for the protection of wife and DIL but not a single law for the protection of mothers and sisters of husbands from the Domestic Violence that they face at the hands of DIL. Is it not discrimination made in the laws made by the Lawmakers? Are we really talking of woman empowerment or creating endangerment in the same sex by the biased laws? Why don’t the Lawmakers realize the fact that violence can be faced by any one from woman to woman and also from woman to man or even from one woman to a whole family of her in-laws?

Recently in the TV news channel Aajtak a program was telecast showing in the state of Rajasthan in the Churu,  Jhunjhunu and Savai Madhopur  districts teenage girls are sold by their parents to Brokers. These girls get married to grooms from where they loot they families after marriage and elope with gold jewelry and cash which is shared by all involved in the racket. Do these sorts of acts fall into the category of woman empowerment or woman endangerment?

The mothers of daughters have a great responsibility towards society and the family upbringing and for the future generations. Just as in the olden times even the so called modern mothers should from childhood inculcate in their daughters these qualities – to be tolerant, responsible, adjustable, understanding and respectful towards their in-laws so that she can lead a happy family life. Empowerment of woman does come with arrogance, selfishness, egos, hatred and disrespectfulness for the in-laws.

Recently in a judgment made by the judges A K Sikri and Ajit Bharihoke, they have commented that male members in a matrimonial home perpetrate violence on the wife or DIL through the female members, so a woman in the in-laws (mother or sister) can face action under Domestic Violence Act. This is total discrimination  and bias in the same sex since the wife or Dil cannot be tried even if she perpetrates violence on the old woman or another young woman  or even the male members  either mentally, verbally, physically, emotionally or  socially for no reason whatsoever. Is this the kind of empowerment that the Feminists and Women’ Commission making such a hue and cry about.

Promotion of the concept of woman empowerment in the wrong direction by presenting false notions of independence and protection should be checked. Real empowerment is to sensitize and educate the younger woman with a sense of responsibility, tolerance, family oriented values, and respect for the elders and the male members in the society and family too. In fact today a woman  does not require any empowerment as she is educated and capable of tackling any situation very well, over and above the young woman has all the Women Protective Laws the whole system of  police, lawyers and above all the judiciary at her disposal.

Since the women protection laws are drafted with many loopholes instead of saying that the laws are misused as weapons or tools for spreading Legal -Terrorism it may be very well be said that Wrong Laws are used successfully with manipulated facts, concocted stories of torture and violence with a combination (tadka) of crocodile tears by the wives and Dil to harass the husbands and in-laws by false cases of 498A, DVA, Maintenance, Child custody, sexual harassment, rape etc. She is empowered to do all this with whole corrupted system backing her fully.

I am a woman and I honestly do not support such Woman Empowerment which degrades to be Woman Endangerment in the real sense of the term.

In cases which have falsely implicated the real and innocent victims (husband and his family) never get justice. The evidences and witnesses presented by the husband and in-laws are very conveniently ignored by the judges according to their whims and fancies as they forget their moral responsibilities. Times have changed now. The Judiciary needs to understand that laws are being misused by young wives to make a fortune at the expense of human lives. Men are being shattered to such an extent that they are forced to commit suicides. Is it not a disgruntled wife committing “Domestic Violence” on her husband and in-laws? Why such gender bias is allowed in the so called temple of justice?

The Judiciary being over enthusiastic,  mild, sympathetic, favoring and  tilted towards women (wives) and biased, indifferent, hostile, unsympathetic and harsh towards men (husbands) it becomes impossible for innocent men to get relief or justice for men in this system and they have little options other than to bow down to illogical  and  unlawful demands of  selfish women. Why such gender biased attitude?

“Gender Parity”, “Gender Neutrality” and “Gender Equality” for men are the demand of the day. If women demand “equal rights” in every other field than why does the judiciary abstain from giving “equal and fundamental rights“ to the “innocent husbands” and delay the justice they are entitled to in false cases filed by their greedy wives. Should not the cases be disposed off as early as possible and the women are ordered equal and severe punishment for harassing the in-law so as to set an example to others.

The whole drama starts at the police-station where very conveniently every complaint is converted into a 498A case as it serves the best opportunity for the police to extort a huge ransom by creating fear in the husbands’ minds. The police not being the “Protector” of the citizens prefer to be the “Supporter” of disgruntled wives. The husband and in- laws are threatened of dire consequences and “Horse-Trading” is rampant at the police-stations. From the police-station the whole drama goes to the courts where the judges, the lawyers, the court-staff and the system as a whole play their part in minting money from the husbands. The court-room drama continues for years.

The “accountability, responsibility and the honesty” of the judges is never questioned. According to law more than three adjournments should not given which is never followed. The judiciary on the pretext of following the laws and procedures actually violate them by granting innumerable adjournments to the young women even if the cases are false.

The litigants are strictly required to follow the court discipline such as not using the mobile phones, sitting without folding the legs, not talking in the court room etc. But is the judiciary following the laws and procedures regularly? If the police fail to follow court orders in a case or if the police do not submit reports demanded by the court in a case, their duty or authenticity is never questioned by the judiciary. But the litigants are harassed for any trivial reason .Are the courts not answerable to the society for such matters?

Cases which can be solved in a single sitting are kept pending in the courts for years thus causing inconvenience to the innocent litigants. Are the courts the business hubs of the lawyers where the litigants are squeezed of their hard-earned money for years?

Times have changed now and the present scenario of the society is different from what it was in the past. Concurrently the mindset of the judges and the law-makers should also undergo a change. Necessary amendments in existing laws should be made according to the  needs and demand of present society where there is random “Misuse” of laws like 489A, Domestic Violence Act ,125 CrPC and many “Women-Centric” laws only to harass the husband and in-laws mainly to extort money.

Whatever may be the consequences of the innocent husbands and his family, the show of the Court rooms must go on, irrelevant of the precious time, money and energy of the litigants. Are judges the “Demigods” and lawyers the “Brokers” of human lives?

The judiciary should act its’ part well by following the laws and procedures judiciously and honestly with responsibility and accountability then only it can revive the faith of society on it. These public servants get their pay from the hard-earned money of the Taxpayers of which men’s contribution comprises 82%.

I am a victim of several false cases filed by my disgruntled daughter-in-law. For the last three years I am attending the court regularly without missing a single date but to my utter surprise and disillusionment I have not seen a single false case being dismissed off or the real victims getting relief or justice. There may be a few exceptions but it is very rare. Thus I leave the matter to the government, the society and the judiciary to decide whether they really want a better system?

Sub: Announcing candle light protest by AIMPF on eve of International Women’s Day.

All India Mother-in-Law Protection Forum (AIMPF) is the first ever social forum created to protect the rights and interests of the mother-in-law. It is a non-funded non-profit organization which is creating awareness about the problems faced by mothers-in-law and also fights against their de-facto villainous projection in the socio-legal arena. It can be reached at http://www.aimpf.org. This forum was created on 6^th September 2009 in Bangalore and very soon grew into Delhi, Mumbai, Hyderabad, Chennai, Nagpur, Lucknow, Chhattisgarh, Guwahati, etc. with more than 1000 members.

On March 7^th 2010, on the eve of International Women’s Day 2010, AIMPF, is conducting a candle light protest from 6 PM to 7: 30 PM on M G Road in front of Gandhi Statue. This protest is being held to create awareness about the plight of mothers-in-law who are abused by not only their daughters-in-law and their parents but also by the society, judiciary, and the laws. AIMPF also opposes the enactment of iVAWA – International Violence against Women Act – in India. It will further spread male hatred and pamper family breaking women at the expense of devout and sincere women who take a pride in taking care of their family members rather than dragging them to court for vexatious and baseless litigations.

Why on the eve of International Women’s Day?

1. Feminists and women organizations have campaigned so much negatively against the image of mothers and sisters of men that they are feeling completely alienated as women and do not feel enthusiastic to celebrate International Women’s Day and hence this protest against unwarranted alienation on the eve of International Women’s Day.
2. On International Women’s Day, feminists mostly talk about “young wives” and completely ignore “old mothers” but because a mother comes before a wife, hence this protest is also being done on the eve of International Women’s Day.

Background of the protest

The mothers-in-law could not bear the harassment any further and said, “Enough is enough“. They have formed this forum to campaign against:

1. The stereotyping of mothers-in-law as evil and blood thirsty by media and popular culture. This violates the civil liberties and the constitutional provisions of right to liberty and right to life.
2. It has been scientifically and also statistically established fact that mothers-in-law are unnecessarily maligned and subjected to judgmental attitudes by society.
3. National Family Health Survey (NFHS) (http://www.nfhsindia.org Vol-1 Page 500) has conclusively established that a woman in the age group of 15-49 years of age faces 8 times more violence from her own mother compared to mother-in-law. 13.7% women have faced violence from their own mother as compared to 1.7% women who have faced from their mothers-in-law.
4. Recent Research has shown that “daughters-in-law are programmed to hate mothers-in-law”. This is one of the most important causes of the stereotyping of mothers-in-law in society.
5. In the four years period (2004-2007) 123,000 innocent women have been arrested under Section 498A without trial or investigation on complaint by their son’s/brother’s wife.

Unaddressed Problems faced by mothers-in-law

In this over-zealous activity of tarnishing the social image of the Mother-In-Law; the society conveniently forgot their issues and contributions. The mothers-in-law in India face severe abuse and yet these women do not get social support they deserve in conditions like:

1. Severe physical and mental harassment at the hands of their daughters-in-law.
   1. Physical harassment can be in form of physical kicking or throwing objects or beating with a belt.
   2. Mental harassment includes taunts, comments and not allowing husband to have any relation with mother-in-law.
   3. Name calling and usage of vulgar language on her.
   4. Throwing her out of her own house and forcibly occupying the house.
   5. Daughter-in-law refusing to allow mother-in-law to meet or even speak to her son.
   6. Insults, abuses and threats by police to mothers-in-law.
   7. Kicking mother-in-law out of house feigning torture and maligning her reputation.
   8. Driving mothers-in-law to death.

Rather than the mother of the woman, it’s the mother-in-law who gives her son to her daughter-in-law and her property as well and at the end of the day, it is the mother-in-law facing the brunt of the fallacy. She is the one who is held responsible in case the marriage does not work and the blame is conveniently passed on to the mum-in-law.

National Family Health Survey’s third report (available at http://www.nfhsindia.org) has some interesting statistics to share. It was a survey done on 30000 women from different parts of India and social strata. It says that in the age range of 15-49, it is the mother of the woman who does more violence on her rather than her mother-in-law.

Typically in the age range of 15-49 the woman will mostly stay with her mother-in-law and at least away from her mother most of the time, even then the mother does more violence on the woman compared to the mother-in-law and yet it is the mother-in-law who is projected as a villain. One can only imagine the plight of those women who bear sons and get them married.

Today the young women have got a lot of privileges like more and more women attending schools and colleges, more women graduating with degrees and diplomas, and more women entering varied professions and earning their livelihood. Women are competing with men in academic, corporate, service, bureaucratic, political and other careers. Women now own property and wealth of their own. But at the same time, the price of this “Over-pamperment of young women” is being paid by old women who are continuously being neglected and harassed due to adverse attitude towards them. Today on the eve of International Women’s Day, AIMPF, on behalf of the old women urges the society and the Govt. to listen to their woes.

AIMPF had also sent an official letter containing request of appointment to the Women and Child Development Ministry. The ministry confirmed receiving the request by giving a call to the Coordinator of AIMPF in Bangalore, however, neither did he give the appointment nor called after that. When the Union Ministry of Women and Child Development – enacted to look into the problems faced by women, is not ready to listen to them, what more can be said about the plight of these old women who are now forced to come to streets and voice their concerns in their dusky days.

Demands of AIMPF

Today, on the eve of International Women’s Day, by way of this candle light protest, AIMPF also puts forth its demands to the Government:-

1. Stop stereotyping mothers-in-law.
2. A change of attitude in the judiciary, the National Commission for Women, etc. to accept complaints from Mothers-in-law with the same spirit with which they accept complaints from daughters-in-law.
3. Stop the de-facto defamation of mothers-in-law and give them their due rights of a dignified and peaceful old age.
4. Stop abuse of old women in by police and by judiciary.
5. Protect the rights and interest of the Mother-in-law especially when it comes to property matters. Property belonging to mother-in-law should not be given to daughter-in-law under any kind of force, coercion or unwillingness of the mother-in-law.
6. Immediately stop misuse of Section 498A, Domestic Violence Act and punish people who file false cases.
7. Make Section 498A bailable and non-cognizable.
8. Make the Domestic Violence Act Gender Neutral and allow women to be Respondents as well.
9. Stop granting luxurious maintenances and alimonies prima-facie to earning and capable women.

10.  Allow grandparents to spend time with their grandchildren irrespective of spousal differences between the parents of the child.

Thanks and Regards

Coordinator
All India Mother-in-Law Protection Forum, Bangalore

The Domestic Violence Act was passed in 2005.and implemented in 2006 for the protection of women (Wife). But the Law-Makers have completely forgotten or rather ignored the fact that violence can be inflicted by the same wife on the members of the family either mentally, physically, emotionally, verbally, socially and financially in order to gain personal scores, to have  financial control or to separate the husband from the parents. According to the law, only the wife can make a complaint and it does not require any proof for her to claim maintenance from the husband. With fabricated stories and crocodile tears she can easily register a false case .The judges feel it is their duty to protect even adulterous wives thus doing injustice to the victim husband and his family.

Each individual coming together make a family and a home. Many homes taken together make a society, a village, a town, a city and a country. But in India gradually the society is breaking up due to the domestic violence happening in each and every home. Why is it that in every family problems start only after a daughter in-law enters the home?

The Government is spending enormously in combating terrorism on the borders of the country but when will the issue of domestic terrorists in the guise of daughter- in- law who Misuses the laws and creates havoc in the families be properly tackled.

Thousands of daughters-in-law have filed criminal cases on their in-laws on flimsy grounds only with the intention to harass and humiliate them and to extort money. Many such victimized mothers-in-law have founded the AIMPF (All INDIA MOTHERS-IN-LAW PROTECTION FORUM) in Bangalore on the 6th of Sept. 2009 followed by similar launch of local chapters in Delhi, Nagpur, Hyderabad, Chennai, Chhattisgarh and Lucknow. More local chapters are yet to open shortly.

The famous women rights activist, Madhu Kishwar has acknowledged the fact that the IPC Section 498A and the Domestic Violence Act are Misused and a significant number of individuals who approached Manushi these days are mothers-in-law and husbands falsely accused of marital cruelty and dowry harassment. She further said that AIMPF would strive towards the protection and welfare of such mothers-in-law in distress by creating awareness, giving them moral support and counseling them.

In the last four years 1, 23,497 women who are mothers-in-law and sisters-in-law (husband’s relatives) were arrested under 498A and also accused of domestic violence for not committing any crime under the law but because they were related to a man.

The Government should reform the present Wife-centric domestic violence law giving equal protection to the mothers-in-law and even to the husbands and children thus including every member in the society who deserve protection irrespective of gender.

Mothers-in-law are being discriminated against in-spite of their generosity just for the sin of giving birth to sons and getting them married. They are being forced to part with their earnings, savings and inherited wealth. They are also being thrown out of their own property at the behest of disgruntled daughter-in-law.

Save Family Foundation and My Nation Foundation had conducted an online survey between  April 2005 and March 2006 and found that out of 1,00,000 men surveyed 98% of men faced severe domestic violence at the hands of their wives and in-laws in the form of verbal, physical,  mental, emotional and financial abuse

1.         Economic violence was the commonest faced by 32.8%.

2.         Physical violence was the closest second at 25.2%

3.         Emotional violence followed suit at 22.2%

4.         Sexual violence contended fourth with 17.7%

5.         Verbal abuse was a problem faced by all men in the above categories.

The gruesome reality is that men suffer in silence for the fear of being discredited or ridiculed in the society. This has resulted in a lot of psychological imbalance, sometimes irreparable damage to the abused male and his family. Even the society believes that men who face domestic violence are somehow responsible for it and should be made to pay the price. This is the reason why the society does not accept/support weak men or men who are victims of domestic violence

The Protector and the Provider of the Family (Male) suffers domestic violence from boyhood to manhood in many ways. Domestic violence can inflicted on employees and servants too can be victims of it, then why only the Wife is taken into consideration under this Act?

Although this Act is propagated by the lawyers and supported by the NCW even the Judiciary is equally responsible for the present condition of the society. From times immemorial the judges avoid listening to a man and without any verification or checking the evidences blindly support the woman. The Disgruntled Wife is thus successful in having orders passed in her favor.

The day is not far when men will refuse to Marry, where will the young, greedy women go then and what will be the future generation?

International studies the world over, including those done by Murray Strauss have proved beyond reasonable doubts that both men and women are equally likely to face domestic violence from their Partners and immediate family including a woman in her natal home by her own parents.

Thus Domestic violence is NOT A ONE GENDER ISSUE as vouched by the Feminists, advocated by the Lawyers, presented by the Media envisaged by the Government, and justified by the Judiciary.

It is rather a SOCIAL ISSUE and needs to be addressed as a social problem only where in there are no ubiquitous and stereotypic assumptions, no double standards and punishment should be CRIME-BASED and not Gender based.

The whole Government system inspite of being aware of the MISUSE of this section is allowing it to continue because each one has a share in the money extorted from the husbands’ families. The ordinary citizens being unaware of this LEGAL-TERRORISM remain entangled in their problems and nobody questions the inadequacies of the Government, the Politicians, the NCW, the Bureaucrats the Law-makers, and the Judiciary. The common man is totally ignorant of these real facts. The real truth behind the Government allowing the anti-MALE, GENDER-BIASED AND ONE-SIDED laws to continue without any AMENDMENTS for years shows that the Government has no intentions to curb the menace of Section 498A MISUSE. The shop of the police, the lawyers and judiciary will stop once the law is made BAILLABLE, so the whole system wants the society to be always kept in fear of this law and there will be no one to check their supremacy.

More often than not, Section 498A is mistaken as the dowry law. This section is clubbed merely to facilitate the “Arrest on Demand” of the husband and his relatives on complaint by the married woman. But DOWRY itself is a ROWDY myth. The DOWRY PROHIBITION ACT (DPA1961) states that GIVING, TAKING, AND ABETTING THE EXCHANGE OF DOWRY is a crime. When a complaint is made why only the TAKER is made a CRIMINAL before being proven to be guilty, only on a verbal complaint without any investigation or evidence; whereas the GIVER and the ABETTER who admit the crime of giving dowry at the time of complaint are allowed to go scot-free? They are the ones who should be booked first under the section of DP 3 Act before accusing the taker.

The NCW is given huge grants from foreign funds in the name of Eliminating Dowry System by showing the statistics of the cases being registered, but never an effort has been directed towards finding the genuineness of each case being registered as 98% of the cases are found to be false after years of trial. This law is totally unnecessary.

In India there is a big HUE AND CRY only on the assumption of the word DOWRY which is not a reality but only a perception.

Extravagant and lavish marriages should be abandoned to stop the menace of the Draconian law of 498A, as the root cause lies here. The transactions of the GIFT ITEMS made in the marriages should be in presence of a Dowry Prohibition Officer. It should be mandatory for each and every marriage to be registered under the DOWRY PROHIBITION ACT (DPA1961) so as to stop the exchange of dowry and also put an end to the MISUSE of it.

Why should the so called DOWRY GIVERS and ABETTERS have a lighter punishment of one year instead of 5 years like the TAKERS? They are the real perpetrators so they should face a severe punishment.

Why do the BRIDES’ parents aspire for HIGH QUALIFIED MATCH for their ORDINARY daughters and their EXCUSE is to give dowry to fulfill the desire of the in-laws they gave dowry of which there is no proof? Is it not greed on their part? Is it not DOWRY which they expect from their future SON-IN LAW? The Bride’s parents are equally responsible as they are encouraging the giving of dowry

In some communities like the GUJRATI JAINS there is no exchange of dowry yet FALSE CASES of 498A are filed. It is quite obvious that the main reason behind is to threaten the GROOM’S family either to gain personal scores, for vengeance, to harass and humiliate the in-laws and above all to EXTORT a hefty amount in the form of MAINTENANCE AND ALIMONY. The greed of the prospective bride and her parents leads to filing of false cases with FABRICATED stories and CROCODILE TEARS. Ironically the police and the judges also believe them without making any effort to investigate or look into the evidences available. The husband and his family are considered guilty and criminals before being proven while the real culprits (bride and her family) not only go scot-free but are even successful in carrying away a lofty amount, as the whole system is sympathetic to them and ANTI-HUSBAND in attitude . This mindset of the system should change.

The NCW is blindly supporting these unjustified laws as they want to run their shop of getting foreign funds by presenting false figures of women being harassed by the in-laws. Never has the ministry spoken about the mothers and sisters (of husband) being harassed by the bride.

Why can’t a case of 498A be filed on such Brides? Not a single member of NCW has ever visited or tried to peep into the life of the brides who misuse such laws. Such wives are denied the basic rights not only in their parental homes but also face humiliation in the society. Is this the type of EMPOWERMENT that the NCW aims at giving the women of today?

For every single crime there is a separate law, then why the necessity of a special law of Section 498A which has the same provisions as mentioned in other laws; the only reason is to break marriages and create a MARRIAGE-LESS society.

This law should be abolished with immediate effect. Why give a TOOL OR WEAPON in the hands of greedy women to spread LEGAL-TERRORISM in the society, which should be dealt first before fighting the terrorists on the borders. The choice is with the citizens and the leaders to decide what they want.

The Indian Government and the whole system including the Police the Judiciary, the Lawyers, the Bureaucrats the Society And Media are supportive and equally responsible for the present situation in the country where the concept of BREAKING – FAMILIES” is accepted  as “Modern Living” The 15  “UNCONSTITIONAL LAWS” promoted by  the “NCW” and acknowledged by the “LAW COMMISSION” has not benefited the society in any way as the real victims do not get justice but with the increasing “MISUSE” of laws like 498A and Domestic Violent Act has lead to violence and  harassment to husbands’ family leading to destruction of the “INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE”.

The DIL comes to the matrimonial home already being programmed to hate the members of her in-laws by her “INSTIGATING” Parents. She enters the family with negative vibes. Making the “Misuse” of the “DRACONIAN” laws of 498A and Domestic Violence Act she prefers keeping her in- laws in constant fear or to come out of the marriage by extorting a hefty amount in the form of “MAINTENANCE OR ALIMONY”. In her mission of “LEGAL-TERRORISM” she does not hesitate to harass the “INNOCENT- IN-LAWS” in all possible ways-physically, mentally, emotionally, socially and above all financially. All this is done to “EXTORT” a hefty amount from the husband and in-laws when she realizes that she cannot have her desires fulfilled, she wants to get out of the marriage by extracting a huge amount so according to her the best way out is to “MISUSE” the “WOMAN PROTECTION LAWS” for “EXTORTION” by filing false cases. She is successful in most of cases as the ONE-SIDED, BIASED AND UNCONSTITIONAL” laws support her is a very common practice in the contemporary society. This is the “EMPOWERMENT” that the “NCW” has created for the “ADULTEROUS-DIL”

Why is maintenance or alimony granted to the young educated, empowered, and capable of earning DIL?

A recent survey of “AIMPF” (All India Mothers- In- Law Protection Forum)  shows  that an “ADULTEROUS DIL” is  a  liar The biggest drama of her lies can be seen in court room where the judiciary is  seen accepting her lies as “GOSPEL TRUTH”, being carried away by crocodile tears and false drama.

When a “DIL” alleges false “RAPE” attacks on the male members (fathers and brothers of the husband) for vengeance is it not “LYING”?  She even goes to the extent of accusing the husband of having illicit relations with his own mother. Is such humiliation not a rape of the Whole Family of the Husband”?

I read an article in the Bangalore Mirror about the nephew of our President Mrs Pratibha Patil residing in C.V.Raman Nagar in Bangalore is accused of false 498A case. My  is question to Mrs  Pratibha  Patil, Mrs Sonia Gandhi, Mr Manmohan Singh,  Mrs Girija Vyas and Mr Veerappa  Moily as to what they think about such incidents? Will it be hidden under political influence or will be come out in the fore front to set a good example to show the impact of the “Misuse” of such laws by the DIL?

In the Mumbai mirror an article was published about a wife being caught red-handed by the husband in act of having illicit relations with her boyfriend. In order to save herself she accused the lover of raping her. In the court room she said that she wanted to save marriage, the lover was taken into custody after the judgment the “ADULTEROUS WIFE “ went scot-free.

An old woman of 92 years was beaten and starved by her DIL and grandson after she had written the property in their name after the death of her son.

“MISLED EMPOWERMENT TO THE DIL” by the “UNCONSTITUTIONAL AND BIASED LAWS” leads to “MISUSE” of power termed as: “LEGAL TERRORISM”. The educated and empowered DIL of today needs “ENLIGHTENMENT”. She should culminate the values of duty and responsibility and not crave only for rights.

DIL stands for “DEFUNCT INJUSTIFIED LAWS” instead of: DAUGHTER –IN- LAW.

The empowered DIL is the real arbitrator and perpetrator of violence and harassment to a whole family.

The answer this question lies on society and the Government IS THE DAUGHTER –In-LAW A DAUGHTER –OF –LAW?

In the recent past a lot has been said about “Women Empowerment” by the National Commission for Women (NCW) and the Women and Child Development Ministry (WCD) Ministry. But not much has been done in practicality.

The reality:

On Saturday the 21^st Nov 2009 a program titled “NAMAK” was telecast on the DD News channel at about 3 P.M. Very strange but true facts have come out in the open. In a remote village of Kutch named “Khargoda” which is ironically called the “WIDOW’S VILLAGE” since in most of the families there are widows living below the poverty line (BPL). Their children are undernourished with no means of proper education and not even provided with the basic necessities of life. The widows find it very difficult to cope with such poverty due to lack of livelihood as they do not get the means to earn a living. Their husbands had died because while working in salt manufacturing industries, by contracting skins diseases and other ailments sans proper treatment. It is miserable to see their pitiable conditions.

What they need to do?

1. Why do the NCW and WCD Ministry not bother to direct their attention to help these distressed widows instead of standing up for the cause of “PUB” going young women and giving un-meaningful support to the air-hostess being molested?
2. Do these distressed widows not come into the ambit of NCW? Where do they spend the huge funds allocated to them?
3. Do these widows not deserve a share of those funds for some relief?

Another reality:

Recently the DD News channel had telecast a program on a girl’s school in Hyderabad running in a cinema hall which was closed .There were not even basic necessities or even proper sanitation.

Are they not supposed to adhere to the needs of these girls when they talk of “WOMEN EMPOWERMENT” and “GIRL CHILD EDUCATION”?

Woman vs. Woman:

1. The NCW supports only the “DAUGHTER- IN LAW” centric laws, but what about the MOTHER-IN-LAW and SISTER -IN-LAW (mothers and sisters of Husbands)?
2. Do these women not come in the category of “NCW’s ambit of “WOMANHOOD”?
3. Why are these innocent women harassed by the’ EMPOWERED’ DAUGHTER-IN-LAW by tactfully misusing the laws like Section 498A (DOWRY HARRASSEMENT) and (DOMESTIC VIOLENCE)?
4. The NCW has propagated (WOMAN ENDANGERMENT) by empowering the greedy and malicious young women. Is it not a (FEMALE TO FEMALE VIOLENCE)?

BAN NCW and WCD:

The” DAUGHTER-IN-LAW” has now become the “DAUGHTER-OF-LAW”. We earnestly request the Indian government to abolish the NCW and WCD Ministry as it has done more harm to the Indian society by breaking the institution of Marriage completely. Laws are meant for “PROTECTION” and not for “HARRASSMENT” and “EXTORTION”. STOP “LEGAL TERRORISM” in the guise of protection and empowerment.

The Supreme Court of India has also acknowledged this fact.

Why is “MAINTENANCE” and “ALIMONY” granted by the courts to such CRIMINAL WIVES who marry only with intention of making a huge fortune and gain personal scores or to revenge the in-laws with the help of the MISUSE -OF LAWS?

Demands:

1. I think it is a very good earning opportunity for young women as in no job or business can anybody extorts lakhs of rupees within 2, 3, or 5 months of entering the matrimonial home. I demand that mothers -in law should be given half the share of booty earned by the daughter -in -law. The old lady really deserves as she has maintained and survived the family for more than 3 to 4 decades by sacrificing her personal desires and ambitions, but within a few months of the daughter -in law entering the home the whole family life crumbles down.
2. The old lady has no means of earning but young and educated woman is capable of earning but deliberately avoids doing work or deliberately hiding her earnings to extort money as she has the “BIASED” laws supporting her. But the whole government system is against supporting the old and weak woman.
3. Lavish Marriages should be banned.
4. Every Marriage should be registered under the” DOWRY PROHIBITION ACT” to stop this “DRACONIAN” law from being “MISUSED”.
5. The Judiciary should come out of its deep slumber and understand the changing trends of the present society.
6. Their mindset needs to change and developed to be sensitive to the issues of old woman.
7. There should be no “INTERIM MAINTENANCE” as the cases are dragged indefinitely by Daughter- in law to extort money.

The reality that happens in matrimonial disputes:

1. When a Daughter-in-law goes to a Police- Station even with a false complaint it is taken to be true and a FIR is immediately registered. She and her relatives should be taken into custody for admitting that they have given DOWRY because as per law “GIVING,TAKING AND ABBETING THE EXCHANGE OF DOWRY” is a crime then why only the alleged taker is punished without investigation of the truth just on a verbal complaint.
2. 98% of these cases are proven to be false and the real culprits go scot free. It is the giver who is spreading this menace in the society.
3. Gifts given “OUT OF LOVE” at the time of Marriage are converted into “DOWRY” as an afterthought and with the help of false complaints and crocodile tears a false complaint is registered against the in-laws.
4. The police are hand -in -gloves with the complainant.

Who takes the responsibility?

1. Why does the Judiciary allow hefty amounts of “MAINTENANCE” and “ALIMONY”?
2. Why can’t the courts order the Daughter-in law to take responsibilities and not demand Rights only?
3. Is the Police or Judiciary in any way capable of returning the honor and respect to the “CRIMINALLY TAGGED” women by the Daughter-in -law which is deserved by the innocent Mother-in-law?
4. Who is going to compensate for the mental trauma physical abuse and the social stigma faced by these old women?

The conclusion:

It is high time that the Judiciary realizes the truth and gives justice to the innocent women and punishes the real criminals. These matters should be dealt with without any delay. “JUSTICE DELAYED IS JUSTICE DENIED“. The judiciary has a responsibility and accountability towards society which should not be forgotten. The Government system as a whole should work together to fight “LEGAL-TERORISM” going in every Indian home just as they are fighting Terrorism on the borders of the country.

The author, Neena Dhulia is the co-ordinator of the All India Mother-in-law Protection Forum.

From,                                                                                                     Date :-

Name:

Address:

To,

The Honorable Minister for Law and Justice

Sub: The unfortunate situation of today’s mothers-in-law

Dr M Veerappa Moily,

Today we are celebrating the Birthday of Mahatma Gandhi in the whole nation. Gandhiji has quoted that. “Our nation will truly be independent when the women our country is free”. But are the women really free? It is paradoxical because in the present day, the “Mothers-in-Law” are “most unfortunate” lot of women especially those who have a daughter-in-law.

Today’s mother-in-law had been dominated by their orthodox mothers-in-law but they’d suffered silently because she was a responsible and caring woman. But now the same mother-in-law suffers the ordeals of a “Daughter-in-Law” who is an “Empowered Woman” because she has the support of 15 laws protecting her, the society, and the whole Government system at her disposal. But the mother-in-law has not a single law for her protection from such daughters-in-law. Even the National Commission for Women (NCW) discriminates in the spirit with which they acknowledge a mother-in-law’s and a daughter-in-law’s complaint. Mothers-in-law are often ignored or at best counseled when they approach the NCW with their grievances but no action is taken against the errant daughter-in-law.

There is a difference between “Perception and Reality”. In reality it’s the mother of the woman is the reason behind such presumptions. The woman is over-pampered in her natal home and the parents forget or rather avoid teaching their daughters to be tolerant, responsible and caring. Such a woman is programmed to hate her potential mother-in-law by her mother. When such a woman enters her matrimonial home, she cannot adjust herself with the in-laws. Such uncaring, irresponsible and selfish daughters-in-law are the biggest contributors of elderly abuse. This behavior of the daughter-in-law leads to misuse of laws, meant for her protection which is termed as Legal Abuse.

Again the negative attitude of the society, media, TV Serials and films, projection of the mother-in-law as the stereotyped villainous, vampish and monstrous characters is a great hindrance for the society to “Accept and Understand”, the grief and complain of a mother-in-law.

Do not the old women deserve a dignified, respected and peaceful life in their own homes where she has sacrificed for 30-40 years her own ambitions and aspirations? She has no support in her own family and relatives. Thus, she suffers silently in the four walls of her home.

1. Why today there is a necessity for old-age homes just because the daughter-in-law enters her home?
2. Why can’t mothers-in-law lead better lives in their own homes?
3. Are the mothers-in-law not women?
4. What steps has the NCW taken for the protection of these forgotten women?
5. Why is the Government blind to their sufferings?

Mothers-in-law suffer abuse, mental torture, physical assault, humiliation, defamation and hatred at the hands of their selfish, empowered, vicious, vindictive and malicious daughters-in-law.

Violence can be classified in four major categories:

1. Male to Male
2. Male to Female
3. Female to Male and
4. Female to Female.

The mother-in-law vs. daughter-in-law relationship comes in the last category. Even Ekta Kapoor is promoting the one sided laws of NCW in her serials.

Do we get our sons married to a woman so that in turn she may harass us anytime she wishes? Just because laws supporting can be “misused” by her according to her whims and fancies does it mean an old mother-in-law has no voice of her own?

Why the mother of the woman does wishes the best for her not so average daughter?

Why do they aspire for an excellent son-in-law for their most ordinary daughters and show great dreams to their daughters?

This is the reason that the woman not being able to fulfill her big dreams and not being to adjust herself in her matrimonial home, very conveniently the blame is put on the mother-in-law.

Hence my request is to the honorable law minister to consider the plight of those  mothers-in-law who are dying a new death every day in their own homes.

“I have been striving all my life to bring up my son so that he has all the basic requirements in life,” explains Fatima, “sweeping corridors to the point of damaging my back. My son is the only twinkle of hope that remains for me in this life.” Should one pass the Faculty of Arts, they would see a smiling Fatima in her green boiler suit, smiling through her work despite a lack of reciprocal smiles from life

Fatima’s story, while one of its kind and indeed maybe difficult to imagine from the viewpoint of a kind a caring in-law family, is nevertheless genuine. “My husband passed away thirty years ago. I had just given birth to a boy,” recounts Fatima, “When my husband died of a heart attack, I was left with the responsibility of bringing up our son solely on my shoulders.

With nobody to help her in this daunting task, Fatima went to the university where her husband had been working with the hope that his friends would possibly be able to provide assistance of sorts. “Sure enough,” she says, “they offered me a chance to work as part of the cleaning staff. I was determined to do any thing in order to avoid prevent the suffering of my child.”

Fatima has since been working diligently for thirty years without respite nor complaints. She certainly did not see any point in sharing her hardships at work with her son; instead she steadfastly believed that one day he would  be proud of her. She admits however, that her son initially expressed shame and disgrace at his mother occupying such a lowly job, but she maintained that he had to acknowledge his mother’s vital role in bettering his living conditions.
“I have experienced the worst things in this life just for his sake, so he may hold his head high in society. I dedicated myself to raising him, buying him books and the best clothes. Moreover, after he graduated from high school I registered him at the university,” says Fatima proudly. After four years of studying in the Faculty of Accounting, he graduated and his mother was overjoyed to see her child becoming such a well-educated young man. Fatima thought to herself that her son would help her to fight through in this life of hardships.

Immediately after graduating and landing himself a job with a well known company in Sana’a, Fatima’s son began contemplating marriage. She says, “one day, he told me that I was to stop working right there and then. He wanted me to finally have a break from working as a cleaner, and he promised me whatever I wanted in life. It seemed as if he was promising me the moon.”

True to his word, the son rented a beautiful apartment for himself and his mother; it seemed that he was intending to make up for all the sufferings she had previously undergone for his sake. Fatima goes on to explain, “after getting this job, he met a young lady who was working in the same company, and announce his intention to marry her. I was so happy that my child had become a man, and that he was going to get married!” Yet little did Fatima know of the consequences that this marriage would bring.

Initially everything was well at home, with Fatima’s new daughter-in-law treating her with respect and charming tenderness. After the first couple of months of marriage however, disagreements started breaking out between the wife and the mother. Fatima explained that soon after, her son’s wife started complaining about her residing in their house; “I never offended her, hurt her, or annoyed her. I paid her respect and gave her love from the bottom of my heart. I treated her as if she were my own daughter.”

Fatima tells how one day her daughter-in-law spoke out frankly and said, “I cannot bear the fact that you reside with us. You are the source of my problems in this house. When I decided to get married, I envisaged marrying your son – not you as well!” Naturally Fatima was completely devastated and started weeping painfully. She tried to minimize her own presence in the house so that she would not affect her son’s relationship with his wife.

Yet day by day, her daughter-in-law became more aggressive and intensified her hatred and hostility against the mother. After receiving no support from her son despite warning him of his wife’s tendencies, Fatima took the words to heart as an insult against the dignity that she had tried so valiantly to preserve until then. She resolved to leave the house altogether and to withdraw from their lives completely.

Fatima speaks with tears in her eyes as she recalls leaving her home without even a farewell gesture or word from her own son, a son for whom she had strived so hard and toiled so long. She says, “I went to see an old friend and have been staying  in her home for three weeks now – thinking in vain that my son would come after me and persuade me to return. He hasn’t though – instead he practically sold me in order to satisfy the whims of his wife.”

Fatima’s story descends to another level of betrayal. A month after leaving the house, Fatima returned to visit her son, only to discover the house empty and the married couple absconded to somewhere even the landlord claimed not to be aware of. Fatima never thought that her son would be this ungrateful and forget all the favours she had done for him. Putting her hands over her mouth she asks, “do you think he will come back to me someday? Do you think he knows that I have resumed my old, back-crunching job?”

Fatima, although speaking in a pained voice, does not seem saddened at being forced to resume work. She claims to be satisfied with the knowledge that she has performed her duties as a mother and kept her promise as a widow. Despite gaining nothing in return from her ungrateful son, Fatima continues to love him due to the fact the she carries the heart of a genuine mother.